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# The List
- URL: https://dd.malinoix.com/the-list/
- Published: 2011-08-03T09:52:23.000Z
- Updated: 2011-08-03T09:52:23.000Z
- Author: Maggie Winterton
- Tags: Relationships, Friendship, Health, Relationships, #wordpress, #Import 2026-10-12 13:59

[![](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2011/08/postits2-227x300.jpg "postits2")](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2011/08/postits2.jpg)I don’t care if you’re single, in a relationship, or already married…**if you’re breathing** you’ve made “the list” of what you want in your partner.

Taken from my book “Not Another Dating Book” that releases Valentine’s…

> “When I was a kid I made a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a mate. I didn’t get much farther than *tall, dark hair, blue eyes*. When I got older, I added other words to the list. *Leader. Communicator. Compassionate. Encouraging*. I kept building it out, describing my perfect man. *Wants children. Virgin. Well-read. Likes to cook. Doesn’t smoke. Doesn’t swear. Comes from a Christian fa* *mily. Good hygiene. Pays his bills on time. Has a heart for ministry.* None of those qualities are bad, of course, but over time I started to understand that by holding every man to my impossibly high standard, I was putting God into a box…”

Yesterday, I got to officially name my Fan Page for “[Not Another Dating Book](http://www.facebook.com/NotAnotherDatingBook)” on Facebook and it hit me. When I was writing the portion in my book about “The Boyfriend” I remember the feeling that God was showing me if I don’t obey and make a new list, He’ll withdraw His Holy Spirit from me and I won’t have anymore words on how to write my book. So I sat down on my floor with a bunch of post it notes and began writing furiously!

**I’m so glad I listened because I met my boyfriend a few weeks later.**

I’ve heard miracle stories before, but never me. I’ve been single pretty much my whole life.

*That’s why I wrote the book.* 

I’ve been single for so stinking long I wanted to write an accurate depiction of what real Christian 20-somethings go through. No more of this “kissing dating goodbye.”

**Heck, all of my friends–including myself kissed dating goodbye years ago and now what?**

I wanted to share my list and be completely transparent. I only make one requirement: *PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH!* It’s quite long, it has categories and some may sound utterly ridiculous to you. *But this is me!* 

If you want to share yours or write one and [email](https://devotionaldiva.com/contact?ref=dd.malinoix.com) it to me please do!

**Renee’s List**

**Relationships/Friendships**

1\. My best friend  
2\. Tenderness  
3\. Independent  
4\. Non-emotional  
5\. Not a drain/co-dependent  
6\. Calming  
7\. Non-smoker/Social Drinker  
8\. Good with large groups of people  
9\. Christian parents  
10\. Likes to cuddle  
11\. Communication  
12\. Not easily pushed around, but can be playful with me  
13\. Needs or appreciates alone time  
14\. Wants a family someday  
15\. Understands I process by isolating or hiding myself, and doesn’t let me stay angry

**Looks/Physical**

16\. Photogenic  
17\. Calf muscles  
18\. Whether tall or shorter than me-> He. Must. Be. Strong.  
19\. Clean shaven/short hair  
20\. Dark brown hair/light eyes  
21\. Healthy  
22\. Physical touch is his love language  
23\. Hugger  
24\. Big arms  
25\. Strong jaw bone (don’t laugh)  
26\. Nice hair  
27\. Virgin

**Church/Ministry**

28\. Shepherding  
29\. Ministry Partner  
30\. Called  
31\. Spiritual leader  
32\. Holy Spirit led  
33\. Daily Quiet time  
34\. Community is important  
35\. Loves God/others  
36\. Suffered  
37\. Conflict doesn’t bother him  
38\. Not intimidated by me (very important)  
39\. Teacher  
40\. Speaker  
41\. Prays with me  
42\. Anointed

**Hobbies/Free Time**

43\. Well read  
44\. Enjoys social media/media/tv/internet/movies (doesn’t have to like them all)  
45\. Likes going fast in cars (hehe this is very important to me)  
46\. Needs guy time  
47\. Acts of service is a love language  
48\. Takes time out to spend intimate time with me  
49\. Doesn’t have to do everything with or for me!  
50\. Prayer warrior

**Finances/Money**

51\. Provider  
52\. Pays bills on time  
53\. Responsible with debt/money  
54\. Saves for the future  
55\. Values money

**Work/Career**

56\. Leadership  
57\. Stable  
58\. Has goals  
59\. Hard worker  
60\. Doesn’t whine or complain  
61\. Drive  
62\. Does not need to be #1  
63\. Values work hard/play hard