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# Sink or Swim?
- URL: https://dd.malinoix.com/sink-or-swim/
- Published: 2014-09-09T06:00:53.000Z
- Updated: 2014-09-09T06:00:53.000Z
- Author: Maggie Winterton
- Tags: Devotionals, Christian, Motherhood, Story, Women's Issues, #wordpress, #Import 2026-10-12 13:59

![sink or swim](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2014/09/sink-or-swim.jpg)

\[Guest post by [Sophia Reed](http://therapyncounseling.blogspot.com/?ref=dd.malinoix.com): I hope you enjoy this inspiring story that shows no matter what, you can swim.\]

## When I was 23 years old, I found myself in a situation that was going to change my life forever: I was going to be a mom.

At 23 I was not doing bad for myself. I had a bachelor’s degree, my own place, and my own car; but I was far from being the ideal mother. My life up until that point consisted of living for myself, and although I considered myself a Christian, I was far from being Christlike, **I still had a way to go in my walk with God.** 

The father of my child was not supportive and his answer to my pregnancy was to have an abortion. Even though I was not a perfect Christian, abortion was not something I could imagine myself doing. *This is when I made the decision to take responsibility for my actions, and go at the whole parenting thing alone.* 

I would love to tell you that my life turned into complete perfection after deciding to have my son. But it was far from. I went through my pregnancy alone and I was working at a correctional facility. I worked 12-16 hours shifts during that time.

### My pregnancy was filled with more worry than anything, but I tried to remain hopeful and happy.

When you know you are doing the right thing, the only thing you can do is to trust that God has a plan for you. I can’t really say I trusted God completely. Life was getting so hard and pregnancy was not all “peaches and cream.” Plus, as the only one in my household, I had to work up until I had my son; **My last day at work was 7/2/08 and I had my son the next day on 7/3/08.**

During the next six weeks of being on maternity leave, things got even more hectic. I had a crying infant that I was responsible for all on my own. *Four weeks after my son was born, his father became incarcerated for larceny, where he remains till this day.* 

## This was a “sink or swim” moment. I could play the victim and be down on myself, or I could pick myself up. I decided to swim.

Within the next three months, I found a babysitter and a new job. **Over the course of six years things got even better.**

It is true when they say that God knows you better than you know yourself. As I was sitting at my job one day, God put it on my heart to go back to school for counseling. I really didn’t know much about counseling, but I obeyed God and who would have thought that helping others was *actually my gift.* 

At 30 years old, I am a true story of how God transforms people. I went from being a 23 year old women who lived for herself, to a 30 year old single mother. Now my son goes to a Christian private school, I own my own home, I completed my Master’s degree, and am now working on my PhD.

# I learned that what the devil means for bad, God meant for good.

**As an African American single mother, statistically I am not supposed to be where I am today. But God had other plans for me, and because He did, I want to share Him with the world.**

I wrote a book, [*Waiting For A Man After God’s Own Heart*](http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-After-Gods-Heart-Encouragement/dp/1493698303/ref=as%5Fsl%5Fpc%5Ftf%5Ftil?tag=reaadvforevea-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=Y3EM3C6XPWFWNXTW&creativeASIN=1493698303&ref=dd.malinoix.com), that talks about me being a single mother and my relationships struggles.

I have come to learn not to be defined by what the world thinks of single mothers. Just because I am not married or had a child out of wedlock, it doesn’t meant that God loves me any less. It just means He has chosen to work in a bigger way through me to show others that everyone matters in His eyes.

> ![sophia reed on devotional diva](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2014/09/familymagpicture-2-150x150.jpg)Sophia Reed is a single mother of one. She has a master’s degree in Human Services specializing in marriage, couple, and family therapy/ counseling, and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Human Behavior. Sophia is a Christian, and enjoys meshing her Christian values with her education and experiences. Sophia’s blog is [http://therapyncounseling.blogspot.com](http://therapyncounseling.blogspot.com/?ref=dd.malinoix.com)

photo credit: [Hani Amir](https://www.flickr.com/photos/haniamir/2630466183/?ref=dd.malinoix.com) via [photopin](http://photopin.com/?ref=dd.malinoix.com) [cc](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/?ref=dd.malinoix.com)