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# Do Not
- URL: https://dd.malinoix.com/do-not/
- Published: 2011-10-11T09:24:48.000Z
- Updated: 2011-10-11T09:24:48.000Z
- Author: Maggie Winterton
- Tags: Relationships, Relationships, #wordpress, #Import 2026-10-12 13:59

*[![](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2011/10/hook-up-300x199.jpg "hook-up")](https://dd.malinoix.com/content/images/wordpress/2011/10/hook-up.jpg)Don’t Kiss.*

*Don’t Touch.*

*Don’t lick.* 

**Do not *what*?**

While Marc and I got donuts this morning, we were talking about how **Christians do not like to talk about sex** until it’s time for pre-marital counseling.

*It’s like Christians are afraid of sex or something.*

It’s such a mind trip to go from memorizing Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4 that says, “**DO NOT arouse or awaken love until it so desires”** to think about marriage because they’re the ONLY verses I remember from the erotic love poem found in the Bible.

Even though Solomon is right, we’re the ones to blame for taking the verses partly out of context. **The truth is God designed us as sexual beings to experience true intimacy between a husband and a wife.**

When I was in the editing process for “Not Another Dating Book,” my editor made me rewrite this one part where I wrote about sex *negatively*.

*I felt so embarrassed.* 

*It’s like my Baptist Sunday School teachers won or something.*

**My generation grew up hearing the words “do not” so many times, it’s** **no wonder why so many 20-somethings have left the church.** One thing I can tell you for sure: *Christians need to start talking about sex in relationships a WHOLE lot sooner than marriage.* 

*Maybe then we wouldn’t have so many broken relationships* ***.*** 

I am proud to say that I waited for my wedding night, but that is SO not what helps me sleep at night. **Jesus didn’t say a spirit of judgmentalism will get you into the kingdom of heaven.** Jesus was more harsh on the religious leaders and Pharisees of that day than anyone else.

When I’m about to go to sleep–*that* is when my burden becomes alive again. My heart aches for my generation. For their needs, hurt, and pain.

*I want to be known as a person who loved deeply and from the heart (1 Peter 1:22).* 

*That I prayed and took the time to care about others.*

*That I helped process their pain and cry with them.* 

*That I was a good friend.* 

Try doing those for a while and you’ll realize with me what a miserable Christian you are and how much you desperately need God’s help to not judge. **Christianity is not a list of rules. It’s about Christ’s love for His bride–the church.** 

*Yes, it’s finally my turn to awaken love.*

*Yes, it’s finally my turn to be a bride.*

But, I think I had it all backwards.

*I was already God’s bride.* 

*I already had his approval.* 

*I already was His beloved and He was mine.*

**Hey church, it’s time we start celebrating what’s *right*.** 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV).